There’s A Sucker Born Every Minute

The Gum diet, the candle diet (something about appetite suppressant aromatherapy), the patch diet, the tea diet (where somehow Di got me to buy massive amounts of tea we never drank), the magnet diet, and the list goes on. All are crazy diets Di has tried at one time or another.

But have you ever heard of this one? I had a huge jar of Jolly Ranchers on my desk (you know… for the kids), and a teacher said, “Oh, are you doing the Jolly Rancher diet?” She said the football players at the high school, who want to fit the weight limits in wrestling, suck on the Jolly Ranchers and spit as often as they can. The spitting reduces water retention and generating saliva burns calories!

Well, apparently I was born yesterday, because I tried it. I gained two pounds and I think my tongue is peeling! This diet sucks!

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I'm a Professional dieter. Losing and gaining weight has been a life-long career. I've lost and gained a gazillion pounds, and can eat 6 saltine crackers in under a minute without drinking water. I was also an elementary school librarian for 16 years. I was sneezed on 6,720 times, had 3,460 colds, convinced 2,132 kids to read Harry Potter, wrote one children's book about birds, and fit 32 kindergarteners in a tent.

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