Join Us On Our Journey!
We invite you to join us. We hope to inspire whatever little, or big, successes (and failures!) are had along the way too. We are here to cheer each other on. We want this to be fun, rewarding, and cathartic and just maybe by helping ourselves, we can inspire and help others as we make this journey together.
No Really, Who Are Suzie and Dianna?
A NY Times writer once compared us to Lucy and Ethel. Ridiculous! Absurd! Let us give you the real inside scoop into who you're talking to here.
There are 3 things I can tell you about me.
#1- I love tangerine colored shoes! I have 3 pairs so far. My shoes all match a tangerine skirt I’ve bought. I’m trying to lose weight, so I can fit into it. I need to lose 10 lbs. to stand in it and 15 lbs. if I want to sit down, so until then, I can’t wear my tangerine shoes.
#2 - I have a lazy cleaning lady and since she’s friended me on Facebook, I don’t have the nerve to fire her. She cleans every other week. She doesn’t dust the piano and I have to straighten all the pictures on the wall, and rearrange the knick-knacks back to where they belong, on the bookshelves. She is very nice, but if you’re going to fake houseclean, you have to learn to fake dust first.
#3-I have been on more diets than anyone I know. I start every Monday, except for the time I told Suzie, the reason we couldn’t lose weight is because Mondays were too obvious and we should start our diets on Thursdays. I lost 2 lbs. the first Thursday I tried it, so it will work.
I'm a Professional dieter. Losing and gaining weight has been a life-long career. I've lost and gained a gazillion pounds, and can eat 6 saltine crackers in under a minute without drinking water. I was also an elementary school librarian for 16 years. I was sneezed on 6,720 times, had 3,460 colds, convinced 2,132 kids to read Harry Potter, wrote one children's book about birds, and fit 32 kindergarteners in a tent.
I got trapped in a pair of spandex nylons with killer gas pains after eating several bowls of mashed potatoes with Dianna at a Norm's restaurant; I got trapped in a girdle on the way to a wedding; and got trapped in the candy aisle of the grocery store hiding from my doctor.
I lied to Ginger Rogers, slugged Michael Feinstein on the arm, licked the frosting off the aforementioned's birthday cake, and hung out the window of the car while Di drove down the Hollywood fwy, trying to flag down a taco truck.
Maybe that New York Times writer knew what he was talking about...